skinwerein

Wow.  So much (and so little) has happened in the past two weeks.

First, the so much– I found out that I matched at Beth Israel in Boston for my intern year in Internal Medicine and then at UT Southwestern in Dallas (!!!) for Dermatology.  SO EXCITED to say the least.

The so little — the day after match day, my husband and I took our delayed honeymoon to Costa Rica (again-!!!) and literally did NOTHING. And it felt. SO. GOOD.

Being an intern is going to tough.  And rewarding.  I see this blog reflecting my experiences in this year and focusing on HEALTH and BALANCE whether it be workout plans when you’re super busy, food plans when you are super poor… and of course, fashion, living in awesome cities, and becoming a full-on-big-haired-red-lipped Texas girl

xx

Juliet

So for all y’all who don’t know how the residency match works, you 1) work you tush off for 4 (or 5) years, 2) submit your applications, 3) go to interviews all over the country (and you pay)- e.g. 10-20 in 1.5 mo, 4) put in your rank list, and then 5) WAIT.  So it’s been the waiting game since my last post in late Feb.  We hilariously have class… and even the type A girl I am can’t pay attention to a thing. Questions arise: Will I match?  Did i put in the right program codes?  What will I do if I don’t match?  IF I match– where will I go?  How much is rent in LA vs. bay area vs. TX, etc.  Could I survive a Minnesota winter?  And then somehow at 12am you’re reading about gyms in Minneapolis and warmer jackets.  Zen is something I aim for, but I TOTALLY AM NOT ZEN.  Would you be?  I’m holding my breath.  Today I found out I matched (!!!!!).  So I released a little bit of air.  But… where?  Stay tuned.

xx

Juliet

Last night, everyone applying to this years Residency Match made their final rank list and then at 9PM EST- the decision was done, no matter how much some of us still question it.

I’m lying in bed today trying to make sense of the past few months.  I’ve always been someone who works my ass off, want the “best”, and that’s been the priority.  But during this process, something was so different.  I’m almost 28 and now these decisions aren’t just about ME.  It’s about my family (hubby and puppy included), my happiness, finances, locations, and a million other things.  Unlike every other decision in my life, there was no perfect answer.

So my list is in.  And I pray I made the best decisions based on my family, my priorities, and my happiness.

Because this is LIFE and I want to be my own best, not anyone else’s version.

Anyone else feeling growing pains?

I feel like a ghost, without an idea of where my life is or where its going.  I’ve been in the air more often that on the ground (or so it seems).  I’ll stop being cryptic and say that I’ve been interviewing from Miami–> Portland with everything in between.  I think I’m so exhausted that anything could make me cry (in a good and bad way).  I’ll have more to discuss, but this process has made me reflect deeply on who I am and what I want in life.  After my last interview, I spent the night in my childhood home, watching bad movies with my Mom in her big bed.  It felt like Christmas break, and I finally felt “home.” I’ve been told we make new homes as we grow older, but nothing feels quite the same.  But instead of a week or two like Christmas break, I had less than 24 hours in that comfy bed.  And sitting on my last flight of the interview season, I realize I’ll never be a little girl in that big bed again.  Especially as I see my family scattered across the country, I see there is no home-base anymore.

So in the most sentimental state, I wrote a letter to a younger me.  Maybe some of you all feel the same when you go home.  I think its okay to have regret, but I hope to soak up every moment of any type of “home” I get in the future.

Dear a younger version of me,

I wish I could go back in time and get in your head. I wish I could tell you that every moment matters.

No one will love you like your mom. You see her as static being, a “given” in your equation, but know that life is short and even moms grow old and fade away. Savor every hug. Savor every time your mom kisses your cheek. Don’t be so hard on her faults, because you will soon learn that you are filled with perfect imperfections. Many of which your own daughter will despise.

Know that your first love you will never forget, so savor every sweet kiss. Sneak out. Dance. Breakup and makeup. And know you will be in love again, but you will never feel like that again.

And its okay to be young and stupid. It’s okay not to have plans. It’s okay to fail. Remember that perfection is an illusion, and you need to find your own version of perfect. Don’t live for tomorrow. Don’t do what is expected of you. Do what makes your heart feel so full it may burst.

 And don’t give up.

 Me

After a long day of technical errors, ERAS opened to hundreds of happy medical students across the US & other countries.  After another LONG morning and a scared feeling when I pressed “certify,” I have SUBMITTED MY APP!  And even if you didn’t apply to residency today, every rainy Tuesday could be celebrated with Saint Pepsi’s awesome track Fiona Coyne.  My husband says I should have been born in the 1980s in France… and I tend to agree.